IVF and the Newlywed: Hidden & Seen

I went to visit my Guru today. To reach her I needed to walk through the Boston Public Garden. I was in such a rush. Walking briskly, I became so frustrated by the winding paths and curving roads that were in my way, I nearly forgot to see the striking beauty of this magic place.


No road is straight in the Public Garden, they rope like serpentine chains around old dogwood trees, bronze statues, a lake with swan boats and a rose garden. I was careening through the park, late for my appointment, when I stopped dead in my tracks.


“BE, where you ARE!” I said to myself.


Why are we predisposed to rushing? To getting to the finish line and missing out on the view? To forget the path curves for a purpose?


There is a concept in Japanese Garden Design called “mie gakure” which translates to mean “hidden and seen”. It is – to quote the experts- “a central design principle in Japanese stroll gardens, where the path curves and elements are arranged so that new, unexpected views are discovered at each turn.” * 


When we walk in a straight line, sometimes we only see what is in front of us. Maybe we get to our final destination faster, but what of the journey in-between?

The “a-ha!”moments of discovery?


I think of what I might be missing, when I am hell-bent on this IVF journey. Is my vision so blighted by the “finish line” that I forget to see all that I have around me? Look how lucky we are, to have family that loves us, a heart within that beats soundly and the ability to make bold choices with our lives and reproductive futures. These are truly gifts.


The park taught me something today in its silent, luscious beauty. I wasn’t looking for a sign, but maybe that winding road made me look up from the path I was on and take in something inspiring. I need to remember to LOOK AROUND more often. To slow down and marvel at what I DO have, rather than regret and rush towards what I do not.



May your journey bring you much strength, happiness and LOVE…


The Boston Public Garden

The Boston Public Garden



(* Discover Nikkei, Japanese Immigrants and their Descendants www.discovernikkei.org/nikkeialbum/en/search/tag/garden)

3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by katery on September 13, 2009 at 8:31 am

    thanks for visiting my blog! unfortunately you have to be a member of direct buy to shop there, we don’t have a membership because it’s super expensive, but my parents do.

    i’m glad that you are able to stop and enjoy the simple things in life, that can be a feat nearly impossible when you are dealing with infertility.


  2. SO TRUE! I walk through the Boston Public Garden every day on my way to and from work. Even though I am commuting, and undoubtedly rushing from the T to work, or to the gym, or somewhere else, I often have to remind myself to slow down and enjoy myself too 🙂


  3. Posted by onlyhalfnuts on September 14, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    I discovered the gardens many many years ago when I was in Boston for a conference. It happened to be just a couple of weeks after a miscarriage and I was very depressed. Stumbling on the beauty there did wonders to lift my spirits!

    (especially since there was a fire in our hotel the previous night~The Copley Square~and I heard it wasn’t the first fire they had :/ )


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