A hen atop eggs

I feel as if I have run a marathon in my mind. Acknowledging I was going to take on the challenge of infertility was one thing. Yet another was getting up and over that first hill. But we did it! We had 18 egglets which developed into 8 embies, 5 of which were plump and beautiful. I said a little prayer for the remaining 3 as they were not able to be saved or put back into my womb.

It’s so hard. This process. The questions about when life truly begins. Still, I cannot help but feel immeasurably blessed to have the benefit of science and the support of loved ones through this journey.

When I was younger- still a sassy single lass- I considered becoming a single mother by choice. I also explored adoption through foster care. I have so much respect for men and women who follow their heart and take on convention. The only thing holding me back, was that I was not ready at the time. But I am proud I explored it, and I went as far as I could go with it. Sometimes, pulling out of the race takes as much courage as staying in it.

So now I sit here, like a plump hen atop a handful of eggs. I am in such gratitude it is inexpressible. That is my way of coping and surviving through this trying time. To sit in grace, if even for a moment.

Everything happens in its own time. I would not be the woman I am today if I had reached the finish line any earlier. I would not have been with my husband, whom I discovered later in my life. I would not have this strength within me, this smile on my face, or this appreciation for this phenomenal, although imperfect body.

I would not appreciate the gifts we hope to receive nearly as much if they were given to me easily.I have been lucky to be successful in life, but I have worked hard for all I have achieved. And as much as a “career girl” as I may be , I am happy to feel like a hen atop eggs today.

Whatever happens, I welcome it with grace.

Thank you g-d for giving me the opportunity to run this race, and to do so with such beautiful wonderful women whom I have met on this marathon…

My best to all of you


6 responses to this post.

  1. I feel all warm and happy for you after reading your godo news post!


  2. should say “good” 🙂


  3. Posted by Linda on December 2, 2009 at 7:00 pm

    My Dearest Michele,

    I love you so much. To anyone else reading this don’t be alarmed. I’m her mom and so darn pround of my little girl who blossomed into this wonderful sweet,. generious,caring, tender and loving woman. Your dad and I are so blessed to have two wonderful daughters

    Michele I never wrote on your blog before, I want to now to let you know as if you didn’t our thoughts and prayers are with you. Here’s looking forward and enjoying with you and your husband a great exciting journey with a happy ending. All my love Mom and Dad


  4. This post gives me a lot of hope. I’m so happy for you. Keeping my fingers crossed and sending you lots of sticky vibes.


  5. I admire your positivity, you are truely remarkable and inspirational. And yes, you should be very proud to be a hen on top of those precious eggs. BIg hugs.


  6. Oh! your mom’s comment made me all choked up!
    congratulations on your two lovely beginnings, and I am truly wishing you all the best this cycle.



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