A Trek Toward the Summit


Written Jan. 1, 2010

Have you ever experienced a really challenging hike? Maybe it was something a little more ambitious than your body or mind expected? Hopefully you were traveling with a friend or loved one, and they kept you going, even when things got scary. I am sure there were times when you felt like giving up. When no amount of breaks of powerbars could motivate you to continue! Oh, the quivering muscles and the thought of yet another mile or two through a narrow pass!

But do you remember when you finally made it to that first plateau? Still far far from the summit, but it was that first time the incline broke for a moment and you had a steady solid place to secure your footing. The air was cool and crisp and the view amazing! You’ve made it (this far) ! For a moment, you could take a breath, indulge in a short rest and relish in your courage and accomplishment.

Exhale….

That’s where  I am right now. This moment makes me think of some of my most beloved “sisters”  (you know who you are) who have helped me walk up mountains, both literally and figuratively. I NEVER could have done the things my body commanded without them coaching me along. It’s lovely to think they have helped me to climb mountains, and will still be standing beside me on this great “adventure” I have found myself on. And there are so many sisters out there…I feel so lucky.

I am nearly seven weeks pregnant at this point (Jan. 1 ,2010). Writing it down brings tears to my eyes, and also tightens something in the pit of my stomach. Maybe I will save this passage as a DRAFT until my second ultrasound, as if writing it down might jinx our future. But I certainly hope not. Today I am on a precipice. I have made it this far. I see my Beloved  beside me and a looooong journey ahead for us. I see a tiny bit of light inside me and I hope it grows brighter each day.

I feel blessed to have gotten this far.

I can only report on what I am feeling at this moment and where we are at this point. After a long journey toward motherhood- considering single parenthood by choice,  adopting through foster care, and IUI and IVF as a middle-aged newlywed, I can only rejoice in this moment, this breath.

Everything has brought me here to this moment. We still have so far to climb to reach the summit, but I have never been this far.

Thank you for your blessings. i send them back to you!

M

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11 responses to this post.

  1. Oh my word Shell, this is the most beautiful blissful piece of news for a new year ever! I’m so happy for you…to be carrying this little piece of joy within. Dearest one, you’ve been such a source of inspiration for me over the last few months (how long I’ve been reading your blog but somehow feels longer) and this makes me overflow with joyous feelings for you!! Enjoy this magical time, the whisperings in your womb, keep on shining your lovely light xxx CONGRATULATIONS AND LOVE xxx

    Reply

  2. Posted by lifebytheday on January 6, 2010 at 5:19 pm

    I am SO excited to finally hear the news that I KNEW was coming! Congratulations Mom!!! I hope you have a wonderfully healthy, happy, and peaceful nine (or maybe seven? 😉 months ahead!

    Hugs!
    Jeannine

    Reply

  3. Posted by Betsy on January 6, 2010 at 6:16 pm

    I don’t even know how I came across your blog, but I try to pop in and read it. Love your writing, your humor and warmth.

    So very happy to read the news!

    With much happiness to you and your DH.

    Reply

  4. Posted by Jen on January 6, 2010 at 7:14 pm

    So excited for you – a very happy, healthy and sane nine months (give or take a week or two) to you!

    Jen

    Reply

  5. Thank goodness! I was so hoping that this day would come for you!

    So tell us what happened? When did you find out? How did hubby react?

    Reply

  6. Posted by Steph on January 6, 2010 at 11:02 pm

    Love you! Can’t wait until August!!!!!! Have I got some cute baby clothes to send you way later. 😉 All gender neutral, of course.

    -steph

    Reply

  7. Well you already know that I am SO HAPPY for you. You deserve this 100% and I’m so pleased to hear that things are going well so far. Your positivity is outstanding and I look foward to following your adventures as your belly expands and that beautiful bubs grows bigger! xxxxxxxxxx

    Reply

  8. At one point, I wanted to dress my daughter for halloween as a maggot…but I found it was going to be too much work…

    Reply

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