My Top 5 Preggy Pontifications

This blog started out as a way for me to process a journey towards conception. It was a deeply challenging journey, as I was about 40 when I met and married my sweetheart, and even at this “robust age” was thrown for a loop by all the trials and pitfalls of conception. Every loss seems to propel me into an abyss, while at the same time steeling me and my convictions that I COULD DO THIS!!! I COULD KEEP GOING.

It feels very strange to watch this blog (and my life) evolve to a story about pregnancy and (hopefully) birth. I am elated after each ultrasound, where we see the baby’s fluttering heartbeat, but as the days progress I become increasingly anxious. Will I wake up from this dream? CAN THIS TRULY BE HAPPENING? I know in my heart it IS and I should be joyful. But there is still some guilt residing there as I wish all of my sisters had joyful news to share.

What I have learned is THIS. You do get your self back after IVF. No matter what experiences and MEDS you’ve had to swallow on the journey, the LIGHT does reappear and you feel yourself again. You actually feel playful and sexy and alive again. I did not realize how I had nestled myself into a dark place until I could dig myself out again. I promise you that you WILL get back into that light again, and you will feel better and more spirited than you have in a long time.

In regards to PREGNANCY, I was trying to think of some commandments that I have been living by. But I can only offer you some experiences, and things that have worked for me. Here goes…

Shell’s Top 5 Preggy Pontifications for Today (These also apply to those ladies on IF meds!)

1. Learn to LOVE your body, whatever it’s form, because it will be CHANGING. If it’s any surprise- you will be getting BIGGER. Try to relinquish your control and just celebrate this. It’s all there to nurture your baby (but lay off the late night girl scout cookies).

2. It’s all about the legs! Find one great part of your bod that you think shows off your assets and feature it with the clothes you wear (when you are not too exhausted to dress up). My first 2 months, and for most of our last IVF, I took to picking up clothes off the bedroom floor and hiding myself in a mountain of sweaters. Not very favorable since I am a clothing designer!! Now I try, at least 2-3 times a week, to wear something that feels PRETTY. I actually do better at work, get great compliments and feel less nauseous and more HOT during these moments. Now it my be your legs, long lovely neck, lady lobes, or pretty eyes- find something you love about yourself and DRESS AROUND IT. It does wonders for the spirit!

3. READ and SLEEP- A LOT!. Don’t watch TV because it’s a mind-suck. Don’t read too many blogs (even mine) because they make you paranoid. Just find a good book, and curl up with a candle or some aromatherapy. Don’t obsess with the BABY BOOKS as they can be overwhelming. Find something delightful to distract you as you drift off to dreamland.

4. GO DECAF. You will be making trips to the bathroom every few hours, so don’t bother to become even more  dehydrated with a diuretic like coffee or soda. Once the radiologist told me that the baby’s heartbeat soars when you have coffee, I started to feel even more responsible. If you must have a coffee, try to do one with lots of milk so you get some calcium. My skin started looking so much better after I gave up coffee, and it’s truly reduced my trips to the ladies’ room!

5. ADMIT IT, YOUR HORNEY. There may be days that you feel like a cat scratching at the front door screen. It’s OKAY. It’s all the hormones in your body, whether on IF meds or dealing with pregnancy and baby-stimulation. Don’t fight it! Remember, there might be months after baby when you’d rather sleep or clip your toenails than make whoopie. Enjoy it while you can. Admittedly, there will be times when you are ravenously horney, but don’t really want to put in the effort to go near your partner. I am not sure WHY this happens, but my friends swear it pregnancy insanity. Just excuse yourself to go to “sleep” early or take a nice bath. Whatever rocks your socks, lady.

So that’s my list (for now) I hope my mom is not reading. Have a great day and I hope this has made you smile.




4 responses to this post.

  1. Great post. Thanks for the insight. Congrats!


  2. Love the post!

    Things I would add to the list:

    Don’t sweat about all the little details, especially when it comes to baby stuff. All the baby is going to need is diapers, wipes, a place to sleep, a few clothes (don’t buy too many–they grow quickly!), and a car seat. The rest, including the nursery–they are meant to be fun, not a trial–the baby is not going to care what the nursery furniture looks like, or whether the room is fully decked out.

    Don’t set any Birth Plans in stone. Things change, they always will. No matter what, be ready to change and adapt…that is what has gotten you through the infertility journey thus far!


  3. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by IVF_Boston, IVF_Boston. IVF_Boston said: My Top 5 Preggy Pontifications: […]


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