Fashion Emergency!!!!

It’s 8:40 am here and I am having a fashion emergency. After some not-so-subtile prodding, the Bear has set up a lovely romantic evening for us in Boston. I like to think of the next 6 months as a long last hurrah, as I can imagine our lives will be very different come August. I bought a pretty red dress and I thought it would look really nice  (albeit a little cheezy for Valentine’s day). There’s only one problem. The dress is a maternity dress, a nice flattering cut with a pretty crossover neckline. It has an empire waist which comes just below the bust. From there down, it is very sleek (not fitted) but I can imagine that every bump and lump will show if squeezed too tightly!

Here’s the issue- what to do with my naughty bits!?? The only maternity underpinnings I have are loose black opaque leggings (which remind me of elephant legs, still wrinkling at the knees) or black spanx. But black with red? I will look like a knocked up Minnie Mouse!

I fumbled through my old drawers , looking for “old drawers” (pardon the pun). I found a pair of fishnets-     eeek-   and two pairs of VS thigh high stockings you need to wear with a garter. (Never worn, mind you). I tried to wear them without a garter, but they kept sliding down my large legs. I imagine sitting there, enjoying a nice mocktail, while my stockings creep down to my knees.

So I tried them on with a garter. A white lacy garter (also never worn) and a pair of black sheer stockings. I looked like a sausage link and the garter practically cut off my belly circulation. Just imagine THAT showing through a bright red maternity dress!

My bump is now obvious. I believe it’s because I had a belly to begin with, and the baby belly is kind of icing on an already round cake. But if you squeeze me in the middle with a wide elastic I look neither maternal and sensual nor sexy and appropriate. It’s such a bold move to wear a red dress in the first place (at least for ME, at least NOW) that it has to go off without a hitch.

There’s a maternity store in Cambridge that opens at noon, they must have pretty, nude hose. Then it’s off to meet my dear girlfriends for a quick laugh.

I do feel blessed by all this. I think I went almost 39 years without having a REAL Valentine, and this little bump only makes it even more special this year. I just want to look pretty, not like something out of a Disney musical.

Happy Valentine’s Day , everyone. Sending hugs!!!! Shell

2 responses to this post.

  1. I realize by now you’ve already visited the maternity store for hose, but if you go back, or hit up any regular pharmacy, get yourself some support hose. I’m not joking; they make it in black and nude, and you can get it up to your knees only, or all the way up to the pregnant belly.
    A friend told me about them last year when I was pregnant and they make the biggest difference in your comfort level, especially as The Belly gets big and your legs take the extra strain. The black ones look really nice; no one ever knew they were support hose, and they kept me from getting the dreaded Varicose Veins.
    So now, I pass along the information to any pregnant woman I come across. Buy them; you will not regret it.


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