Greetings from Club Bedd- Week 30


Greetings all!

I have been in bed rest at Brigham and Women’s Hospital for over 2 weeks. It’s been an experience like nothing I would have imagined. We were at the Home Depot when I thought my water broke at 28 weeks. The Bear took me to the Labor + Deliver Center of our hospital and they admitted me for a “few days.” Things have been up and down since then, and the Dr.’s are trying to keep me through week 34, when they plan on delivering the baby. We are doing well, and Baby Jake’s vitals are wonderful. It’s just hard as heck to be here. 

I feel like a lion chained to a bed.

I’m trying not to get morose, or harbor any undue self-pity. I am in great hands and feel extremely safe here. I am just grieving that what I thought would be our birth story will now be something remarkably different.

No matter when Baby Jake will be be born (week 34 or prior) he will most likely spend the beginning of his life in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. I will not be able to hold him for a few days. He will not be able to nurse, but will get my milk from a feeding tube. I can’t write anymore because it’s too hard right now.

If IVF wasn’t challenging enough, this brings pregnancy to a whole new level. I love this baby more than anything, and we will be strong for him. I just need to take it one day at a time.

Our families have been there for us, day in and day out. Our friends have visited and brought lasagna and sparkling ciders and exotic flowers. They have loaned me “girl power” figurines to remind me  to keep going. My best friend even flew up from NYC for a night to stay with me. I feel that we have been exceedingly blessed with support. I just need to hold on.

I’ve cancelled my baby shower. I don’t have “wheelchair privileges” and don’t want to have it in a bed. Plus, baby Jake will be at least a week old, when the original shower date comes, and will will be spending most of our time with him in the NICU. We have decided to have a welcome party for him insted, a few months after he is home.

I am trying to pretend I am at an exclusive luxury spa- Club Bedd. I am trying to transport myself to a place of peace and calm. 

The Bear has been here with me through this. Sleeping on a muppet sized bed the first night, and bringing me “chick flicks” for date night. He’s doing better with it now. But I think it’s been harder for him than for me. I have a job- INCUBATING. But he just feels helpless. He’s eating a lot of junk food, but trying to keep his humor up.

Please keep Baby Jake in your thoughts, and prayers. The notes you have left on this site have really meant a lot to us. THANK YOU.

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4 responses to this post.

  1. Thinking of you and baby Jake. I don’t know what words of encouragement to write, as they all sound trite to me. It’s such a big job and I do send the very best.

    Reply

  2. Posted by Linda on June 12, 2010 at 3:49 pm

    Hi Baby

    Just finished reading your newest entry. You my dear Michele are a very strong woman, and you are in good hands. You have no idea how made well wishers you have. We love you and wish you well. Our thoughts and prayers are with you my darling daughter and with , YOUR SON JACOB, and Tom You need to have happy thoughts, and talk to Jacob cause he can hear you and he also feels your emotions. So chin up sweet pea, good carmer for Jacob too. You know we are with you guys. Call us later. Love Mom Dad Laura Khaled and Isabella

    Reply

  3. Sending you a little something with Rachel tomorrow…bedrest does suck, but you are being the bestest mommy you can be for Jake right now!

    Thinking of you!

    Reply

  4. Posted by eep6 on June 17, 2010 at 12:29 pm

    I so feel for you! I was on hospital bedrest for 3 weeks with my now-2-year-old for hypertension/pre-eclampsia – so different situation but oh how I remember the frustration, the anxiety, the fears, and having to cancel my baby shower too. Holding you in my thoughts.
    (LFCA)

    Reply

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