Posts Tagged ‘first trimester’

It’s really happening…

I hope everyone reading this is doing WELL. It’s hard to believe the overwhelming response I have received regarding this blog. Thank you for reading and posting your thoughts. It means bunches to me.

There were some incredibly touching things that seem to have transpired this week. They are like tiny snapshots from a film nior, in a fleeting moment they were gone but had left an indelible mark on me.

Last week.

Cold morning, snuggling under warm blankets like two sweaty Bears, I whisper to HIM,” I’m having your baby.” It’s finally real. “Ummmmhummm.” He replies, holding me closer. “I know this.” We go back to sleep.


Clowning around after work, he grabs me and pulls me on top of him during a tickle fight. Our bellies are too big on top of one another ! I roll off of him as if  coming down from a mountain.


I’m changing into pj’s after a long day of work. The Bear walks in and turns me toward the mirror. Studying my profile, we realize that my body is beginning to change. He puts a hand on my rounded belly. “You’re beautiful.” He says.

It’s really happening.

Baby Beluga

…for Daria, in answer to your question…

My husband has been singing this to me since we started IVF last year. If you could see this big Boston Bear of a man singing this children’s song, you would know why I love it so. Now he delights in it even more. It makes me appreciate every joy and gift we have been given thus far…

Baby Beluga

Baby beluga in the deep blue sea, 
Swim so wild and you swim so free. 
Heaven above and the sea below, 
Just a little white whale on the go. 

Baby beluga, baby beluga, is the water warm? 
Is your mother home with you, so happy. 

Way down yonder where the dolphins play, 
Where they dive and splash all day, 
The waves roll in and the waves roll out, 
See the water squirting out of your spout. 

Baby beluga, baby beluga, sing your little song, 
Sing for all your friends, we like to hear you. 

When it’s late and you’re home and fed, 
Curled up snug in your waterbed. 
Stars are shining and the moon is bright, 
Good night, little whale, goodnight. 

Baby beluga, baby beluga, with tomorrow’s sun, 
Another day has come, you’ll soon be waking. 

Baby beluga, baby beluga, is the water warm? 
Is your mother home with you, so happy.

Happy Joy

It’s raining chickens out there today but I can’t help but be joyful.

We had our first meeting with our new OB, Dr. Feelgood . I have to admit that I LOVED HER! I was so worried because I over-googled her for patient reviews,and didn’t know what to make of all the chatter out there. I was so damn impressed. I loved her directness and her spirit. She didn’t even mind that I had a nervous laugh through the whole ultrasound.

Baby Beluga is doing very well. Today he looked like a Jumbo-head.  Just a big, “Great Oz” style head floating head in a sea of  amniotic fluid. Dr. Feelgood assures me that he has a body attached to him somewhere.

I was so relieved to know that he/she is well and still happy. I always get nervous before a Dr. visit. I love him so much, and it was so good to see his little face. I ache so much and have hoped for this for so very long. I am hoping and praying that all my sisters on this journey will have magic baby dust this year. 

I realized that I have never felt so “protective” about another being in my whole, life. I guess this is a preview about  what the future will feel like…

Child’s pose


I made a new friend through the MeetUp group I started and we met for the first time at our local yoga studio in Mass. It was my first time at pre-natal yoga. I have to admit this was a big leap for me. To sit in a room with such bourgeoning, gorgeous bellies and feel like I truly BELONGED THERE. There were moments that I was overcome with emotion. How many years have I waited to be pregnant. And in this class, I was just like the other ladies – although perhaps less limber- no big tatoo of “IF” where my heart center should be. Just a girl doing her best downward dog, and trying to savor the moment.

There were women of all shapes and sizes, all ages. All glowing.

I feel like I made it though another “doorway” in my experience and even though I am still in disbelief  that this IS happening, I am opening up to it, and trying to be there for our Firefly.

We had a great double date with two cherished friends last night. It has been ages since I have put on a pretty dress and lipstick. It was exactly what the Bear and I needed. In addition, I’ve been spending a lot of time with a wonderful girlfriend – lots of tea and girl-talk, and I feel like a flower in the sun. Very nourished.

And speaking of being nourished- I just made something called “comfort chicken” tonight, which should be done in about 5 minutes. It’s a stew of  fresh veggies and sauteed chicken in vegetable stock, with a crusty potato topping.I have no idea how it will taste, but I love cooking and it’s great to use up all the vegetables we get from our weekly farm share.I can totally use a little “comfort” tonight!

Tomorrow the Bear and I meet our new OB for the first time. I always get a little nervous before Dr. appt’s . Particularly ones where we do ultrasounds or hear the Firefly’s heartbeat. All we can do is stay positive and know that being a little nervous is totally normal.