Posts Tagged ‘incompetent cervix’

Club Bedd- Week 4!

An update to friends and family, sent from my bed at Brigham and Women’s Hospital, Boston (aka Club Bedd)

Greetings from Club Bedd, where the temperature is a steady 67 degrees and the food is white and pasty. 

It’s hard to believe that we are entering our 5th week here. I will take any little miracle we can get and feel blessed to have gotten to this point. Baby Jacob is doing wonderfully and seems as “happy as a clam” to quote one of the Docs. I am glad he has no idea that we are in here, or that my water broke and filled back up again. I bet he is happy that mama has had to set aside her workaholic tendencies for a wee bit!

Jacob is 32 weeks and 2 days today. He’s in a really good place as far as his development, and if he joined us today he would be well cared for by the team in the NICU. The Doctors are going to connect with the experts on the high risk OB team in a few weeks and run some tests on me to see if I should deliver at 34 or 36 weeks (the week of July 9 orJuly 23) which is unbelievable! He will soon be here !!!!

Papa Bear is doing well. He is working as head Contractor on our New Old House and packing, going to college and taking care of me and Jacob. He looks like HE could use some bed rest!

I’ve been trying to do something “meaningful” here (besides my new blessed full time job as incubator- which is pretty important). I’m reading some “deep” books, surfing the web on the best buys for king size sheets and outdoor furniture, and keeping up with the Kardashians. 

(Beware of  Jewish Princesses on bed rest with a laptop and a credit card!) 

The acupuncturist, and lady Rabbi, and social worker from the hospital pay me frequent visits, so I am now squared away with the Tao of Qi, G-d and my inner child. 

All I need is an aesthetician to rip off my very profound  mustache : ) and a constant supply of decaf iced lattes. Then, I will be balanced from the inside-out.

love,

me

Greetings from Club Bedd- Week 30

Greetings all!

I have been in bed rest at Brigham and Women’s Hospital for over 2 weeks. It’s been an experience like nothing I would have imagined. We were at the Home Depot when I thought my water broke at 28 weeks. The Bear took me to the Labor + Deliver Center of our hospital and they admitted me for a “few days.” Things have been up and down since then, and the Dr.’s are trying to keep me through week 34, when they plan on delivering the baby. We are doing well, and Baby Jake’s vitals are wonderful. It’s just hard as heck to be here. 

I feel like a lion chained to a bed.

I’m trying not to get morose, or harbor any undue self-pity. I am in great hands and feel extremely safe here. I am just grieving that what I thought would be our birth story will now be something remarkably different.

No matter when Baby Jake will be be born (week 34 or prior) he will most likely spend the beginning of his life in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. I will not be able to hold him for a few days. He will not be able to nurse, but will get my milk from a feeding tube. I can’t write anymore because it’s too hard right now.

If IVF wasn’t challenging enough, this brings pregnancy to a whole new level. I love this baby more than anything, and we will be strong for him. I just need to take it one day at a time.

Our families have been there for us, day in and day out. Our friends have visited and brought lasagna and sparkling ciders and exotic flowers. They have loaned me “girl power” figurines to remind me  to keep going. My best friend even flew up from NYC for a night to stay with me. I feel that we have been exceedingly blessed with support. I just need to hold on.

I’ve cancelled my baby shower. I don’t have “wheelchair privileges” and don’t want to have it in a bed. Plus, baby Jake will be at least a week old, when the original shower date comes, and will will be spending most of our time with him in the NICU. We have decided to have a welcome party for him insted, a few months after he is home.

I am trying to pretend I am at an exclusive luxury spa- Club Bedd. I am trying to transport myself to a place of peace and calm. 

The Bear has been here with me through this. Sleeping on a muppet sized bed the first night, and bringing me “chick flicks” for date night. He’s doing better with it now. But I think it’s been harder for him than for me. I have a job- INCUBATING. But he just feels helpless. He’s eating a lot of junk food, but trying to keep his humor up.

Please keep Baby Jake in your thoughts, and prayers. The notes you have left on this site have really meant a lot to us. THANK YOU.

In the Hospital- week 29

I once spoke of this infertility journey as being an ongoing challenge. I truly meant it. I don’t think a light goes on and you are free from the emotions and experiences that bind you to this fertility rollercoaster. It does not end once a child is conceived , or born. It’s something you take with you, something that changes you.

This doesn’t need to be a bad change. While there are moments of heartache and deep despair, sometimes these challenges make us stronger, and add on to the people that we become.

While I would not wish these fertility challenges on anyone, I do wish that we all recognize our own strength and beauty, and realize the light within each of us.

I mention this because I am on bed rest at Brigham and Women’s Hospital and will be here from one to six weeks. Our baby, conceived after our third IVF is sleeping inside me. I have become a human incubator. We were at the Home Depot last weekend when I felt a gush of water and had to go to the ER. At the time I was only 28 weeks. They did an ultrasound and determined that I had a thinning cervix. (It’s called an incompetent cervix or a nonexistant cervix). I have not dilated yet, but my water has ruptured slightly.

The baby’s vitals are very good, and so are mine. He may come anytime from now to 35 weeks. They are trying to prolong it if possible, so I am on strict bed rest with only 5 minute showers and an occasional bathroom break. It was shocking and scary at first. I am keeping a positive attitude and trying to bribe the nurses with sweets. The care here is exceptional and I truly believe that the Partners/BWH network is absolutely outstanding. They explain everything to you and never leave you in the dark. I have met many of the Dr.’s from New England OBGYN and I truly recommend that group if you are looking for a good GYNO or OB in the Boston Metro Area.

There’s a reason why we women subject ourselves to injections and prodding and all the nuances of this cold process. They wheeled my gurney past the nursery yesterday, and I saw what that reason was. As horrible and scary as this is, it has brought my family together, and made me realize how strong I am.How strong and devoted a mother I will be. I have found peace with it. Jake will come in his own time, and we will be here.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

My very best wishes to you,
Shell