Posts Tagged ‘iui’

My favorite post!

So many times, I have wanted to speak to you, to say “I understand…”

I love RubyFeather!

Getting ready for bed. The Bear has been pretty amazing lately, opening car doors for me and chauffeuring me around like a superstar. I feel like a nymphette.

I had a great afternoon with the girls from RubyFeather today! We met at a cafe in Harvard Square and talked for hours. What a fantastic group of engaging, intelligent and dynamic ladies. If you live in the Boston area and are looking for some girl-power and support through fertility challenges or pregnancy after infertility or loss, please consider joining us! It’s like breaking down the fourth wall of anonymity and isolation, and replacing it with face to face friendships and support.

And if you don’t live in the chilly NorthEast, please help us spread the word that there IS support in this area through TWITTER or  facebook. TELL YOUR FRIENDS. We really want to be there for them.

Sending blessings and the best of wishes….


Yoga for Couch Potatoes

No woman wants to consider herself a couch potato. Let’s leave that concept to the boys. There is,however , a time and a place for relaxation. Perhaps yours takes you in front of the tv or computer- A LOT. Yes, with all the hours of web surfing at one’s disposal, couch potatoes no longer need to be rooted by the tv. We can make it to the laptop.

Being a couch potato myself, I can make jokes. But I wanted to let you know about a website I really like, that helps me (on occasion) get out of that rut.

It’s called YOGA LEARNING CENTER. I stumbled on it a few winter’s ago, and it’s become my “go-to” site whenever I need a little pick me up. All you need at home is a computer (preferably in an area where you can stretch out) and a yoga mat. They have a ton of online classes to choose from for all levels and interest. I particularly like Monica Morell’s “Fertility Yoga” if you are trying to conceive, and Mia Taylor’s Prenatal yoga. I believe that it’s about $20 a month to subscribe for unlimited use, which is about the cost of a class and a half at a local studio.

I do not think that the online resource should replace going to the yoga or fitness studio. There’s something really lovely about being surrounded my women and good lighting and NOT noticing all the dirt on your floor when you are doing your boat pose. But if it’s a toss up between Oprah and a quick yoga tune-up, I strongly suggest checking out what’s available online.

(Please note, that if you are in the Metro Boston area, Monica Morrell offers a Fertility yoga class that I have heard very good things about. here is her site!).


Today the Bear and I have been visited by a beautiful robin. As I write this she is facing me , just a few feet from my window. She’s the fattest bird I have ever seen. I’d like to believe that this is somehow GOOD FORTUNE and this pregnant, gorgeous bird is some baby omen. There’s only one problem, I was always taught that the beautifully colored birds were the MALES, festooned with such a banner of color so as to entice a mate. If this is true than my baby omen is simply an overweight male. Perhaps he’s extra fluffy with winter down. I’ll have to look this up, but it’s still so lovely to see them!

May you be blessed with good omens today!


PS.- SHE’S A GIRL! I just did come quick research on the American Robin. To learn more about these lovely gals’s visit Cornell Lab of Ornithology or Robin Facts and look for baby omens in your area!

ICLW-A Little “(Baby got)Back Story”

I love this time of year. Besides the manic rush to fill everyone’s stocking with things they don’t need-I blog, and dream, and get lots of comments. I treasure every comment someone takes the time to leave behind as I do believe they fill me with some superpower juice. (Perhaps it’s just the meds).

The Bear does not understand my fascination with blogging (something, by the way, I thought I would NEVER do). G-d forbid he catches me tweeting. I tell him it’s kind of like his unbridled obsession with football, or with sugary breakfast cereal. “You know when you paint your belly blue and you go out there in the freezing cold and have a tailgate party at Gillette Stadium? ” I explain “All that (dare I say) brotherhood and bonding over pony kegs??? Well, that feeling you get is what blogging gives me (without the hangover).” 

A little hooyah for all my sisters on the “Visiting” team. Our stats might be questionable, but we are here to kick some @ss!!!!! 

Random strangers


And we don’t have to paint our bellies blue to do so!


For those of you visiting this blog for the first time, I wanted to give you a little backstory. I am a 41 year old newlywed. That might sound rather “golden aged” but I still get carded and have wonderful skin. I feel 28 on the inside when I am not pumped up on meds.

I always aspired to be a high powered career girl with many lovers and pool boys who would fan me with palm fronds. The career developed beyond my expectation, but the lovers were duds and no pool boys materialized. One day I read this ridiculous article in O Magazine where the writer suggested that if you put your INTENTIONS into the would, you would reap a bountiful harvest. She said you had to write a list of 100 things you hoped to find in a partner, to fully actualize your hope in your mind. I had nothing to loose, as I found the love-over-30’s dating scene to be somewhat lackluster, so I gave it a try. I got stuck around #64 I remember, but I mustered on. I remember asking that he “had a job”, “had nice hands”, “was devoted to his family” and “cracked me up” among more direct and personal hopes. (These hopes might seem simple and shallow but you would be AMAZED at some of singletons out there!) Writing this list made me feel somehow empowered. But as most “life changing” resolutions go, I quickly forgot about it.

About six months later, I met this crazy guy after a string of horrid internet dates. On our second date, he insisted on cooking dinner for me in my tiny condo. I noticed his big hands. As he passed me a glass of wine, I thought about my penchant for pool boys. Was this somewhat better?

After a few dates we began sharing our history. I told him things in the hope of scaring him away, so that I could resume my independent life. I mentioned that I had pursued adoption through foster care (then on hold), and had explored being a single mother by choice (unfortunate miscarriage). Surprisingly, he did not run screaming from my life. Instead, he somehow understood and expressed his desire to one-day become the father he always wanted to have. He was a keeper.

We were married five months later.

After we were married, I stumbled on that journal of “man-traits” as I was cleaning out the office. I was surprised to see that it felt as if I was describing him! The only pitfall- the “# 72.stylish dresser” is sometimes questionable, but hey, he still ROCKS in those nylon wind pants and that shade of acid washed jean will one day come back again!

So that’s our story. Fifteen months into our marriage and we have endured extensive prodding and poking (and not in the good way,) several losses and many bumps and cheers on the road to baby hood. We have also experienced countless tears and laughter. I would never want to do it with anyone else.

Write your list. Then throw it away. It probably won’t bring you additional luck, but it’s nice to put your hope and intention into the universe.

(Thanks Elizabeth) 

Wishing you joy.

A Birthday of Sorts

It’s one of those days outside where you can’t tell if it’s 10am or 4pm. This transitional haze seems to coat everything. Still I feel like it’s a BIRTHday of sorts! Today is the day of our IVF transfer.

This will be our 3rd and I am cautiously hopeful that the day will go well. Our first transfer was a bit of a debacle. The attending RE was cruel and insensitive and kept yelling at me not to talk or move through the procedure. I felt like a chained animal. So primal and frightened. I heard later from the nurses that he’s been known to lock ladies out of the bathroom so they keep a full bladder for the procedure. He might be a brilliant Dr., but I hope someone pees on him one day!

So Crazy MD recommended that I be “knocked out” for transfer #2 so I wouldn’t cause any more havoc in the Operating room. I couldn’t agree more with the concept of sleeping through a very vulnerable experience and waking up slightly high and happy. Unfortunately, they forgot to tell me to have some water before I arrived, and when they tried to administer the IV they had to stick me 14 times before I made them stop. There was blood all over the floor and my husband was turning blue.

I opted for valium.

MMMMMMMMMmmmmmmm! Valium. Now I know what they mean my the term mother’s little helper!

Luckily the IVF Dr. #2 had soft and gentle eyes and was wonderful. He kept me distracted and I was able to get through it. I also realized after round 1 that I can’t have my husband in the OR with me. I just feel too vulnerable and get very self conscious.

I really liked the Dr. who did the retrieval this week. Everyone at BWH Boston was awesome and I felt very well cared for. At times I tried to pretend I was at the spa (wishful thinking ) and they were working on my energy from the inside out. I hope the transfer Dr. will be equally kind and ease me through this.

At this point of the IVF journey, you have had so many people in your “business”. You don’t think twice when you are prodded and poked in your naughty bits. But that transfer is the hardest part for me. It’s like a reunion with hope and these little bits of life that I love so much! Fate is back in your hands, and even though much of it is out of your sphere of influence, a bit of life is re-deposited inside you. 

Each time you have to go through another doorway on this journey- sex for fun to sex for baby making, talking to a specialist, testing, clomid, IUI,IVF, etc….you find this immeasurable strength that you didn’t know you had before. Two years ago, I never imagined that I would choose to do IVF. Now I am on my 3rd try and I thank g-d for the gift of modern science. 

Women are strong, we keep on going. I love that.

Wishing you the very best….

RubyFeather is now on Facebook

girls holding hands

So many ladies have written to say that they love the idea of our new girl-power group for those of us navigating the big IF. I have to say that it is so wonderful to get such an outpouring of support.

We have set up a facebook page so folks interested in Rubyfeather and what it represents can connect and support one another. This page is global, so you don’t have to live in Boston to become a member.

Also, by joining this page or becoming a “fan” you can help us spread the word about RubyFeather. I tried to keep the main premise of the group somewhat discreet in description.

Here’s the link….

Won’t you be my facebook friend?


A Little Win

Great news! One of my favorite people – an amazing guru and advocate for women on the journey toward motherhood- has agreed to speak at our RubyFeather MeetUp in December. She’s offered me so much insight and wisdom, and I am excited that she will be able to reach out to the rest of the ladies.

To learn more about our next event for baby-making babes in New England, please visit

Wishing you all great happiness and love!!!!!